Have you ever wished your wedges had an inbuilt ventilation system say in the form of perforated red plastic? No? Really? Neither have I.

If you wake up one morning and you do get that compulsion to incorporate a drawstring bag into your outfit, could I please, for the love of everything stylish, beg you not to do it on your feet

For some reason, can’t think why, all sizes are still available on the River Island website and in theory they can be yours for £30.

I’d also like to just point out that River Island have actually got pretty decent shoes aswell, probably the best on the high street in terms of diversity in style..it’s just that sometimes that diversity ends up with an example like these.