Have you ever wished your wedges had an inbuilt ventilation system say in the form of perforated red plastic? No? Really? Neither have I.

If you wake up one morning and you do get that compulsion to incorporate a drawstring bag into your outfit, could I please, for the love of everything stylish, beg you not to do it on your feet

For some reason, can’t think why, all sizes are still available on the River Island website and in theory they can be yours for £30.

I’d also like to just point out that River Island have actually got pretty decent shoes aswell, probably the best on the high street in terms of diversity in style..it’s just that sometimes that diversity ends up with an example like these.

When I first saw these Miu Miu sparrow print diamanté embellished shoes back in Spring, I thought they were appallingly cute. (Even if pink satin, diamonds and ankle straps does at first make for a slightly queasy feeling) I love the unexpected contrast with the print/diamantés/70′s platform vibe.

So I was pretty excited to spot this delightful interpretation on the high-street (albeit a little less chic but definitely more purse-friendly) courtesy of River Island. The difference? A cherry print, a peep-toe and a few hundred pounds. I’m still going to have to get myself a pair, no question, got no choice. Can’t talk myself out of it. These shoes are made of dreams.

Kate Moss Topshop Range

Today was the 12th time that I have gone online to check the Kate Moss collection at Topshop. The 12th time! I don’t see how the popularity in this line continues to grow, but if the astronomical rate at which the clothes sell out is anything to go by, it’s not looking like it’s about to slow down.

I remember sitting at my computer at 2am one Spring day in 2007, waiting for the first collection to become available. I bought a belt, a couple of vest tops and a liquorice stripe dress (the belt and dress still cherished to this day). However, by the time this, the 12th collection has come around, for me, the whole concept has lost all it’s exclusivity and excitement . Over the years, and we are talking years, designs have gotten lazier, prints have gotten duller and less imaginative yet the prices remain above the normal Topshop rate for not-so-superior quality threads.

It is quite obvious that the only thing which justifies such a frenzy on the Topshop floor is the girl herself. Kate has appeal. She is 4 years away from 40, yet she dresses like a 17 year old and manages somehow to look better than an actual 17 year old. She carries off the whole ‘I just threw it on’ thing so well, keeping it classic yet still sexy and youthful. So this is how I struggle to believe Kate really had any input in the last few collections. The first 2 collections had some heirloom-worthy pieces which will remain on many a ‘must have’ eBayers list (I’m still tracking down the one-shoulder white dobby-print dress, pictured). But the current collection leaves me able to see through the hype and not see a great deal else. All overpriced floaty-unwearable-impractical yet still generic nonsense and not one flicker of excitement.

People will continue to flock to Topshop to see whatever Kate’s name is attached to, because that is her pull, and it is why they will continue to churn out these clothes. An arty photo-shoot and average clothes is a winning formula for the moment. I just can’t see them getting away with it for much longer.