Recently I have noticed something of a fashion epidemic, quite literally sweeping the streets of Britain.  A growing number of women I see out and about the town, doing the food shop, filling up the car, in the queue at the post office, paying bills in the bank…all seem to be wearing a maxi dress.  Why?  Was an announcement put out which I missed?

Presumably the memo also stated that they must be worn with the obligatory cropped denim jacket and ethnic looking jewellery.  Chunky beads.  Big wooden necklaces.  Just another detail I’ve noticed in this curious phenomenon of late.

Don’t get me wrong, not all maxi dresses offend me, too much.  I think they have their place (preferably a summer evening somewhere hot with a summer cocktail being the only accessory required) but here in cloudy Britain I can’t help but feel like they look completely out of place.  At best there is just something a bit too wedding-day about them.  Well what’s wrong with that?  Because the thing about weddings is that in general they require a uniform which looks ridiculous out of the context they are intended for.  Especially when that context is dragging a shopping trolley over a damp and grubby car park, trying not to catch the billowing, tropical-flower printed fabric in the wheels.

Context aside, are they even really that kind to the female form?  They are all over the shops, taking over the magazines, convincing women they are wearable and flattering (which we all know is a nicer way of saying ‘slimming’).  But perhaps I am just missing the trick.  I don’t think so, but I do find it confusing; they make people look like they could be 6 months pregnant.  Now, there is not a thing wrong with looking 6 months pregnant.  I’m just not convinced why you would want to aspire to emulate that look on a regular basis.

Well I think it is safe to say I won’t be one of the maxi-devotees this summer.  In fact, I am off to buy myself a mini-dress in defiance.  Apparently they are the next big thing.

I am undecided on how I feel about a clear trench coat.  This one is from Topshop, at £55.  There are occasions when you have a great outfit on only to have to cover it all up when you leave the house because of trivial issues like warmth and keeping dry.  At least if the coat is see-through, you get to show off your outfit, which is always going to be a good thing.

On the other hand, the foggy plastic (which I imagine would get rather hot and uncomfortable very quickly) is going to distort the clothes underneath so you wouldn’t get the desired effect anyway.  I like the black piping, I like the shape, but it’s a shame they have left such visible pockets on this example.  Perhaps we can do without transparent outerwear after all, and just take along an umbrella.

Have you ever wished your wedges had an inbuilt ventilation system say in the form of perforated red plastic? No? Really? Neither have I.

If you wake up one morning and you do get that compulsion to incorporate a drawstring bag into your outfit, could I please, for the love of everything stylish, beg you not to do it on your feet

For some reason, can’t think why, all sizes are still available on the River Island website and in theory they can be yours for £30.

I’d also like to just point out that River Island have actually got pretty decent shoes aswell, probably the best on the high street in terms of diversity in style..it’s just that sometimes that diversity ends up with an example like these.

When I first saw these Miu Miu sparrow print diamanté embellished shoes back in Spring, I thought they were appallingly cute. (Even if pink satin, diamonds and ankle straps does at first make for a slightly queasy feeling) I love the unexpected contrast with the print/diamantés/70′s platform vibe.

So I was pretty excited to spot this delightful interpretation on the high-street (albeit a little less chic but definitely more purse-friendly) courtesy of River Island. The difference? A cherry print, a peep-toe and a few hundred pounds. I’m still going to have to get myself a pair, no question, got no choice. Can’t talk myself out of it. These shoes are made of dreams.

Matalan has always made me feel a little bit sad. Devoid of soul, originality and excitement, the cold harsh supermarket lighting and the bored sales assistants all make for a completely uninspiring shopping experience.

There is no seduction, no temptation, and frustratingly, no small sizes (don’t expect to find your size if you are a 6 or 8 as it would appear Matalan only order 2 per store).

I keep getting leaflets through my door letting me know I should ‘Expect More’ at Matalan but all it seems to be is more of the same.

For some people, eBay clothes bring with it some negative connotations. Musty, old, worn out, cheap clothing. But if you’re selective, it couldn’t be further from it. I love the fact you can find things that you aren’t likely to see on 10 other people each time you go shopping. It’s also ironic that you usually also end up paying over the odd’s for certain items because of their desirability. It’s you against the rest of the country.

Kate Moss Topshop Range

Today was the 12th time that I have gone online to check the Kate Moss collection at Topshop. The 12th time! I don’t see how the popularity in this line continues to grow, but if the astronomical rate at which the clothes sell out is anything to go by, it’s not looking like it’s about to slow down.

I remember sitting at my computer at 2am one Spring day in 2007, waiting for the first collection to become available. I bought a belt, a couple of vest tops and a liquorice stripe dress (the belt and dress still cherished to this day). However, by the time this, the 12th collection has come around, for me, the whole concept has lost all it’s exclusivity and excitement . Over the years, and we are talking years, designs have gotten lazier, prints have gotten duller and less imaginative yet the prices remain above the normal Topshop rate for not-so-superior quality threads.

It is quite obvious that the only thing which justifies such a frenzy on the Topshop floor is the girl herself. Kate has appeal. She is 4 years away from 40, yet she dresses like a 17 year old and manages somehow to look better than an actual 17 year old. She carries off the whole ‘I just threw it on’ thing so well, keeping it classic yet still sexy and youthful. So this is how I struggle to believe Kate really had any input in the last few collections. The first 2 collections had some heirloom-worthy pieces which will remain on many a ‘must have’ eBayers list (I’m still tracking down the one-shoulder white dobby-print dress, pictured). But the current collection leaves me able to see through the hype and not see a great deal else. All overpriced floaty-unwearable-impractical yet still generic nonsense and not one flicker of excitement.

People will continue to flock to Topshop to see whatever Kate’s name is attached to, because that is her pull, and it is why they will continue to churn out these clothes. An arty photo-shoot and average clothes is a winning formula for the moment. I just can’t see them getting away with it for much longer.

Style bible Vogue surprised me recently when it featured a dress from discount online fashion retailer boohoo.com. Dress in question is this flower print ruffle ‘Lina’ dress, £25, with studded straps and bodice. I think it’s a good thing when realistically priced clothes feature in such publications alongside high-end designers – it’s all about balance.

Consequently, the Lina dress has caused a stir amongst the fashion set with the dresses selling out quick. The studs and black strapping give it an edgy feel but I could imagine prettying it up with a denim jacket, black lace footless tights and some ballerina flats. Kind of a nod to late 80′s early 90′s Barbie….Well, that’s me sold. Next stop: eBay.

Bib Jumper

I have a new found liking for Miss Selfridge, since I found this adorable jumper on their website. Ticks many boxes for me: Frills. Bows. Blues and Reds. I can’t wait to wear it with skinny jeans and top it off with the Vivienne heart! 5-yr-old chic at it’s very best.

Chanel Nail Varnish

I was lucky enough to receive a delightful Chanel Nail Polish from a kind friend in shade Django. It is a lovely understated pale pink shade with a hint of shimmer. Ok, so there are many similar pale pink shades available accross the Boots counters, but there is an extra joy when it is coming out of a neat little Chanel bottle.